weights

Listening To: The Eagles "Desperado"

woke up at 9.30 in the AM...dragged my heavy fat ass body to wash some clothes that was soaked with sweat from yesterday's badminton session......then was thinking to do some amendments on the FYP before heading for Mr.Beh's practical class...was also pondering on the idea to donate blood as planned...alas, ended up playing NBA Live '03 (my PC's too rusty and wrecked to handle '06) instead......lazy again...donate blood tomorrow.....

sat in the lab for 1 hr...tried listening as hard as i could to Ah Beh's explanation...in the end still could not understand what he said..what sockets, packets, serverSockets, serverPackets, 2 way communication...WTF, langsung tak faham, like that assignment how to do......and it's raining outside, fuck, my clothes just sidai la, stupid weather......

don't have the slightest idea why i'm so pissed off right now...not angry at someone or anything...just hating myself for becoming more and more stupid...ever since i've installed the wireless Internet my grades have been slipping like a mud slide.....internet addiction sux.......the grades are not looking good, if i wanna graduate with a DISTINCTION i'll have to get a 4.0 or something like that for this semester's exam, which for me is damn near impossible......not that grades are important (i know i'm contradicting myself with this statement, but fuck it...), but it does lend some credibility at the end of the day......

the decision to continue studies for the top-up programme at LJMU is what's causing my headaches right now...travelling overseas aside, it's the financial problem that's bugging me...see, even if i work part time, 20 hours full per week AND eliminating any form of entertainments whatsoever, save for the ocassional happy hours, the COL is still pretty much high and way out of my budget...it's kinda shameful that i'm solely relying on mom and dad's savings for the education...really really have to start working after the exams for income......come to think of it, Stephen Tang's intimidating lecture on life is beginning to stick in my head: hunger, desperation, depression, surviving......

the conclusion ? WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD.