Burnout

I used to think that I am a cheerful person.

You know, the happy-go-lucky type. No matter the situation, I could always remain positive and unfazed. Well, not to the point of being overly-positive, but you get the point.

But I'm not so sure now.

Ever since working (it's a full year already) I find myself...not quite myself anymore. Maybe it's the long working hours. Maybe it's the tense environment. Or the fact that I just like to enjoy life and relax.

But lately I am becoming more and more depressed and confused.

I have become more cynical towards all things.

I complaint more and more.

I find myself seldom interacting with the colleagues anymore. I don't know why.

I sometimes eat in large portion just to indulge myself after working so hard. It doesn't help my ego that this has contributed to my ever expanding waistline goddammit...

For the past 4 months, my daily routine for dinner has been eating with colleagues before returning to office for a couple of hours work, or eating at mamak stalls after taking the SECOND LAST train back home.

I have only met those former college mates a few times since July.

I sometimes need to work on Saturday and even Sunday, not because my boss summons me back, but because there's so much bloody fucking work to finish off.

Most of my friends work 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week. Well, I work 60 hours a week.

NOT INCLUDING SATURDAY AND SUNDAY.

And they tell me they are tired.

I want my life back.